- Why joy in motherhood can feel out of reach for so many moms today.
- Science-backed statistics on the mental load and stress moms carry.
- What stress really looks like in a mom’s everyday life.
- Gentle mindfulness practices that fit into your busy day.
- A real mom’s story of shifting from frazzled to present.
- Encouragement to claim small moments of joy — even in hard seasons.
- Where to find more support if you need a soft place to land.
Where is the joy?
Regarding raising kids, have you heard this?: “These are the best years of your life. Soak it all in!” But maybe you feel too overwhelmed to enjoy it and you’re just trying to survive the day. The “shoulds” kick in: “I ‘should’ be enjoying this. I ‘should’ be happy and grateful. Other people are finding the joy, I must be missing something. I just need a break.”
“I want to enjoy motherhood, but I’m too stressed!”
Guess what, you are not alone! Research confirms what many moms already feel: parenting today is more stressful than ever. 70% of parents report that parenting is more difficult now than it was 20 years ago. [Pew Research survey,] And nearly half of parents say they feel completely overwhelmed most days. [APA / Surgeon General Advisory, 2024]
A nationally representative Ipsos survey found that 67% of American moms feel at least somewhat stressed, and 14% say they are very stressed. The top sources? Managing finances (73%), worrying about their kids’ future (72%), household management (71%), and simply the daily work of “being a mom” (69%). [Ipsos, 2023]
What does stress look like in a Real Mom’s life?
Sometimes it’s obvious: panic attacks, tears, and emotions feel big.
Sometimes it’s looks like, well, normal life. We are all so used to stress that it is just how we function day to day.
- You carry tension in your body – tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing.
- You go through the motions, yet feel disconnected.
- You feel guilty: guilty about not being the “best” mom (you are an awesome mom, btw) Guilty for snapping, guilty for not loving every moment and fantacizing about an escape.
- Your mind is set on ‘task’ mode, racing from one thing to the next.
- You escape – through social media, doom scrolling, binge watching shows, or maybe binge on comfort “foods”
And then you add in exhaustion.
Research shows that 65% of working parents report symptoms of parental burnout— a combination of exhaustion, feeling emotionally detached, and doubting their effectiveness. [PubMed, 2023] Mothers are more likely than fathers to experience this kind of burnout.
No wonder joy feels out of reach.
Remember: you are human. It’s really hard to enjoy the moment when your mind is racing or your body is tight with tension.
Mindfulness: A Gentle Way Back to Yourself
Mindfulness isn’t about perfect calm or emptying your mind. It’s simply about noticing what’s happening — with kindness.
It’s about building moments of awareness into your everyday life, so you’re not swept away by stress all the time. It can start small. Just five seconds of awareness can change the tone of your day.
Try this:
Right now, pause.
Breathe in: This is a brand new moment.
Breathe out: I am here in this moment.
You don’t have to fix anything in this breath. You’re just arriving in your body. This is mindfulness.
When you begin to meet yourself — and your stress — with compassion, something shifts. You move from surviving to slowly, gently savoring.
Simple Practices for Stressed Moms (That Truly Fit Into Daily Life)
Here are a few ways to practice mindfulness as a mom — even if you’re short on time and sleep:
- Name what’s here.
- When you feel overwhelmed, try saying, “This is stress. This is hard. And I am doing my best.”
- Naming your experience reduces its grip on you.
- One mindful moment a day.
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- Choose one thing you already do — nursing, washing dishes, folding laundry — and do it slowly.
- Notice the sensations. Let your breath soften. Let this be a moment of opportunity, to enjoy being present with what is.
- Breathe with your child.
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- When your child is melting down, pause and say, “Let’s take a breath together.” (Even if they don’t — you do.)
- This models regulation and gives you a reset.
- Gentle affirmations.
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- Tell yourself: “I don’t have to enjoy every moment. But I can find a seed of joy and water that seed right now.”
- Compassion check-in.
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- Ask: What would I say to a friend feeling how I feel right now? Then say that to yourself.
These aren’t fixes — they’re invitations. Invitations to soften, to feel, to come back to yourself. And that’s often where joy hides.
From Frazzled to Calm and Present
My mom always said, “Motherhood is the hardest job a person could have.” I might have taken offense to this when I was younger. My siblings and I were probably average in our level of difficulty for parents to raise. Now that I’m a mom, oh boy, I get it, Mom, this is really hard!
I appreciate that my mom was being real with me about the challenges. Thanks mom for naming it and giving me permission to see this for what it is.
But that isn’t the entire picture. The other half is changing the peg, and finding joy in the moments that are hard.
Another mom I know inspired me with her habit she developed around the dreaded the bedtime routine. Every night she felt irritated, tired, and ready to be off duty. And every night she felt guilty for being short with her kids. She started one small practice: putting her hand on her heart and taking three breaths before bedtime began.
Over time, she noticed a shift. She still had hard nights. But she also began to enjoy the snuggles. And the kids responded more positively to her when she was centered. She felt more present and she even looked forward to the ritual.
This wasn’t about changing her circumstances. It was about changing how she met the moment.
You Deserve Joy in Motherhood (Even on Hard Days)
Enjoyment doesn’t mean it’s all easy. It doesn’t mean you float through motherhood like a serene goddess. It means you allow yourself to feel, to notice, and to come back — even after yelling, even after forgetting, even after breaking down.
Motherhood is full of mess and magic. And when you give yourself permission to be here — as you are — joy becomes possible. Not every moment will be joyful. But you can start to find a seed of joy in most moments.
Want a Little More Support Along the Way?
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone – and you don’t have to figure it out alone either.
Be True Peace offers resources and mindfulness support for moms who want to reconnect with themselves and the sacredness in their parenting – even when it’s hard. Whether it’s a meditation for when you feel disconnected, a moment to connect with other mothers in mindfulness and meaningful communication, a breath mantra to anchor you, or a gently weekly reminder in your inbox, we are here to walk alongside you.
A breath for you, Beautiful Mama
If you’re feeling like you’re missing it all — the joy, the magic, the meaning — take a momen right here, right now.
Breathe in: I am doing the best I can.
Breathe out: I’m ready to see, experience and uncover the hidden joy.
You don’t have to do this perfectly. Just keep coming back to this moment, with kindness and compassion.
You’re not alone.
(Explore my free mindfulness resources for moms click here or join the weekly email series, Mindful Grace Giver click here, if you’d like a gentle space to land.)